Baptism

Extract 44
Things are changing again. At least I recognise the signs now. Jesus has his brothers doing more of the day to day running of the business. John is gathering larger crowds and annoying more people with his preaching. But Herod is getting stronger too. He's already taken control of two provinces and had the Romans appoint him king. Now, not satisfied with stealing his brother's territory, he's stolen his wife. I know he cares little for our traditions and less still for God, but this is dangerous – the people are incensed. And John is right in the middle of it. Not content with upsetting our leaders, he’s now railing against Herod, prophesying against him – more and more the people see him as a rallying point, as a political leader. I’m frightened for him.
And for Jesus. He went today. I’d seen it coming but it’s still so hard to let go. It feels like I’ve lost so much already – I’m his mother, I want to protect, to build home, to shelter. But I think back to that first night. When Gabriel stood there, full of authority and God’s power – waiting for a young girl to give her permission. So I’ve learned this about love. It doesn’t cling, it doesn’t insist on its own way, it sets free, it trusts. But it still hurts.

Extract 45
I went with him as far as the Jordan. John was there of course, along with the usual crowds and a cohort of the palace guard – keeping an eye on things. As we began to move through the crowd John seemed to know we were there. For a long moment time seemed to stop and slowly the crowds turned their heads towards us. Then with a deep sigh John spoke. ‘Behold. The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world’. Then he pointed at Jesus. ‘This is the one I keep telling you about. The one whose sandal I am unworthy to untie. The one.’ The crowd held its breath, then Jesus broke the spell - with a huge smile on his face he splashed into the water and clapped John on the back. ‘It’s time. I’ve come to be baptised’. John was horrified. ‘I need to be baptised by you, not you by me!’. But Jesus laughed and shook his head. ‘Let’s fulfill the law John, this baptism of yours, it’s about making right choices – right? So we can do this can’t we?’. As the light dawned, John nodded again and together with Jesus walked deeper into the river. Then he put his big arms around my son and baptised him.

The crowd must have seen it a hundred times that week. Declaring afresh your trust in God, committing yourself to walk a different path, pleading with God to cleanse you with more than water. But as Jesus was plunged beneath the water it seemed so much more. My heart stopped. It looked for a moment as if he was gone. Not a washing, but a burial. I think the crowd felt something too, there was an extraordinary hush – a collective holding of breath. Then just as suddenly, the water broke and Jesus shook his hair, spraying droplets everywhere. We all let out a gasp and out of nowhere a dove hovered over Jesus before resting on his shoulder. It looked for all the world as Noah’s dove must have done when for the first time it found dry land.

Once more God’s Spirit has found a place to rest.

Extract 46
As we watched in awe with a supernatural silence all around, a voice spoke – it seemed to reverberate off the hills – ‘This is my son, in whom I am well pleased’. Jesus turned his head and looked into my eyes. My son. His Father. Then he was gone, without a word, striding out into the wilderness. I remembered Joseph’s words all those years ago at Passover. ‘I’m proud of you’. Jesus left us then when he was 12, but the time wasn’t right and he came back with us. This is different, now the time has fully come and I know he isn’t coming back. I began to cry then I felt a hand on my shoulder. James, strong, resolute James. ‘Come home mother’.

And so I went, leaving some of my heart behind.