Childhood

Extract 35
I get so much less time to write nowadays. Five children and a husband make for a busy house! These last years have been wonderful - normal. Joseph's business growing, gradually being accepted by family and friends again. And of course seeing my children growing up! Jesus now seven down to Leah, just starting to walk.

But of course there are moments when the deeper reality breaks through, as in my heart I know it always will - and must. A couple of years ago, Jesus managed to open the cupboard where we keep the gifts from the Magi. He knows we often don't have much money, so when he saw the gold, he was naturally curious! We didn't say much - it really didn't seem the time.

Tomorrow is though - today he came home from school - he'd been in a fight with Reuben again. I was about to chastise him when he asked me what a bastard was. So, the whispers carry on and now we have to explain.

Extract 36
We've always told Jesus that he is special - but then what mother doesn't say that to her child? But there is something unique - not just about his birth, his father - but about him. The way he prays, the way he almost knows the scripture stories before they are finished - as if he's heard them before a long time ago. But above all, his goodness. Not that he isn't into everything like all boys his age, but there is nothing dark, nothing malicious. He's quick to apologise and very quick to praise and to love. I desperately want to protect him from the world that is so unlike him. But I know that is not why he has come to us.

And so we tell him. He nods at the circumstances of his conception and birth, he grins when we tell him of the first visitors. When we bring out the presents and give them to him, this time for real, he seems to understand. When I weep as I talk about Herod & Egypt, he comforts me. We spend hours talking about the scriptures, bringing what little understanding we can. At the end of it all, he stands by the window and says simply 'I see'.

Extract 37
As the eldest, Jesus spends more and more time with Joseph - learning the trade. Joseph is so patient with him! I remember the first time he got into the workshop, I was frantic. There he was by my feet, tripping me up as usual 'Off you go and play' I said - and off he went. When I looked for him a little later, I couldn't find him. I went down the street calling in at all my friends, but he wasn't there. Then Joseph came round the corner, carrying him. As Jesus saw me, he wriggled free and ran towards me shouting 'I helped dad build a boat!'. He went regularly after that, learning his trade, always something new! The time he wanted to hammer the nails himself. Joseph held the nails whilst Jesus tried to hit them. Jesus learned some new words and Joseph came home with bruised fingers! And the time he got sawdust in his eye. Such a small speck, so much hurt, so many tears. But yesterday they brought me home a new box for my diary - they had made it together.

Soon there will be two carpenters in our house.