Barbeque

Extract 87
These are strange but wonderful days. Jesus keeps appearing to us and the other disciples, teaching more about what has just happened and preparing us for what is to come. Mary is utterly transformed! From a broken woman without any sense of self-worth she has a grace and assurance that makes me understand ‘shalom’ in a new and deeper way.

Jesus gave her back her dignity – more, he gave all women a new calling. ‘Tell my brothers’ he told her in the garden. Jesus, God’s son, entrusting this ‘sinful’ woman with the greatest news, the highest truth there will ever be. Mary, teach the men! At first Peter was offended, but it quickly passed – he is too aware of his own inability to handle truth right now to worry about it.

Extract 88
Of course, I’m staying with John now. I’m sure he’d rather be with Peter and James, planning where they will go and how they will change the world! They still don’t quite understand Jesus’ ways yet, but they are getting there slowly! We’ve just come back from the beach – I went to welcome John and the boat after the night’s fishing – and to see if there were any fish for breakfast! When I got there I could see that there was already a fire and someone was cooking fish. Jesus waved me to join him. I needn’t have worried about the food, there was so much! He seems so much more relaxed, we have time to talk, mother and son and so much more than that.

The nail prints in his hand a permanent reminder of just how much more.

Extract 89
Finally the boat appeared in the half-light and we heard the men wondering who was on the beach. When John realized it was Jesus he quickly got his dry clothes from the stern of the boat and began to get dressed. Peter of course couldn’t wait he just dived into the water all but naked!

He seemed to have second thoughts as he climbed onto the beach to face Jesus - it must have been the first time they had had time to speak personally since Jesus’ resurrection. How close Peter had come to being the one to betray Jesus. When he told the servant girl that he didn’t know Jesus he was telling more of the truth than he knew. Of course if he’d really known my Jesus, he wouldn’t have been worried about meeting him half naked!

Sound carries so far along the beach, reflected from the water. We didn’t mean to hear, but Jesus put his arm around Peter and asked simply ‘do you now love me for who I am Peter, or are you still insisting on me being who you think I should be?’ Peter almost choked as he answered. ‘Jesus, you know I am your friend’. Jesus nodded and said ‘Then feed my sheep.’ Peter was in turmoil, not knowing what it meant or what to do. Jesus called after him: ‘Peter, do you love me without conditions?’ Peter, so aware of his great professions of faith in the past and his failure to deliver when it mattered couldn’t bring himself to make such a promise. ‘Jesus, you know me. I’m your friend’. From the anguish it was causing him I’m sure he felt that it was an admission of failure. Jesus didn’t see it like that: ‘Feed my lambs’ he said. Then before Peter could respond he lowered his voice so that we could barely hear: ‘Peter, are you really my friend?’ That did it. All inhibitions gone, all fear of rejection cast aside, he crumpled in front of Jesus: ‘Jesus, you know all things you know that I am your friend’. Jesus pulled Peter to his feet and hugged him: ‘Then feed my sheep.

Peter, you once told me that you would die to stop me suffering. Now, one day you will die to share in my suffering.’