Emmanuel

Extract 22
At last, a moment to write! What a night! From pain and shame and despair to extraordinary joy. It seemed like he would never be born, couldn't be born, him too big, me too small. All that pain, seeming to go on forever, forgetting what normal was like. Just like these last months. More and more rejection, more and more pain - almost losing hope that I could ever have joy again.

But here he is, joy to the world, the Lord is here. Jesus is here. God is with us.

Hope and my son were born tonight.

Extract 23
I've just finished feeding him again, now Joseph has him. He looks so proud - our child, yet not our child, God's child - maybe everyone's child. The shepherds certainly thought so! We thought a mob had gathered to come and kill us - nothing would have surprised me tonight. But it wasn't it was the shepherds from the sacrifice fields - where they keep the flocks for the temple. I think they'd be drinking; they were shouting and singing, babbling on about angels and bright lights in the sky. At first I wanted them to go away - we'd been on our own through the pain of this whole thing, why couldn't we enjoy this part together. But I had this quiet sense inside me that this is how it will be - Jesus has come for everyone. And then I was glad that they were ordinary shepherds. Real people who understand hardship, loneliness, being ostracised. I liked them and anyway, who can resist a new-born baby!

But if they were a little drunk, the moment passed. Something changed when they saw Jesus. Maybe they recognised him, maybe there's something about him that reminded them of the angels they had just seen. But they became quiet and one by one bowed before him in reverence. In many ways, it made me more in fear than when I thought we were about to be killed.

This Jesus, my Jesus - tonight it felt like the whole universe turns on you.

O Lord, help me.

Extract 24
We're not going back, not yet anyway. The shepherds took us to a place where we can stay - it's so small, and there are broken timbers and holes in the roof - I guess that's why no-one lives here. But I know someone who can fix those things, and I can make us a home!

Maybe, just maybe we can begin to have a normal life.